Sometimes I feel kind of caged.

Pretty much all of us are stuck to a daily routine. It gets REALLY boring after a while. Especially if you realize you are stuck in a routine! There are so many things I haven't done recently that I've wanted to do. I want to:

1. Ride my bike North,East, South and West, and get myself lost just so I can find my way back.
2. Go camping in the mountains to look at the stars at night and admire nature.
3. Climb to the top of the mountain to see what that weather-station lookin' thingy is...
4. Go to Box Elder,Tooele, and Duchesne county.
5. Visit Bryce Canyon and Zion National Park.
6. Practice my wooden flute that I got as a present from a good friend a long time ago and make up a song.
7. Find a cave or explore a well known one.
8. Walk through Salt Lake City at night.
9. Get close to a buffalo on Antelope Island.
10. Follow a river.
11. Go Topaz hunting.
12. Meander through a lake, by myself, in a kyac (or however that is spelled).
13. Spend a day at Salt Lake's huge new library.
14. Spend a day at a museum.
15. Visit the Flea Market again (but remember to bring a gas mask :S ).
16. Go through the woods on the southern part of Mutton Hollow.
17. Climb to the top of a butte in St. George.
18. Go see the U of U.

There are lots of things out of state I'd like to do too, but these things are all local and are either free or cost little money. What do you guys do to break your routines? What do you want to do?

My Dad...

Heh, if I had written this a few weeks earlier I probably would have said somethings I would regret later; I decided to take some time off and get a level head before writing this.

Bottom line, my dad isn't in my life hardly ever. Period.

But about, ooh, I'd say... 2 weeks ago, he came back overseas from Germany (he's in the military and now has "a family of my own") and came to visit me for the first time in two years. Which is great, I think there was a period in my life where I hadn't seen him for 6 years.

Anyways, so he took me down to Las Vegas ( I absolutely HATE that place but almost all of my family from my dad's side lives down there), I down right refuse to elaborate the content of that trip but it was, in a word, "interesting." I awakened feelings for my dad that I had thought I left behind long ago, these including, resentment, dissapointment and shame.

Don't get me wrong, do I love my dad, yes, do I honor my dad, yes, but, I'll be honest...I'm kind of glad he's not in my life. I mean, I've done so well with just my mom and myself, what does he have to offer me? In the periods that my dad was not in my life, which would be around 80-90% at least, My Uncle Blessing, Grandma Cordelia, Grandpa Henry, Uncle Kalachi ( all of which are from his side of the family) have invited me into their lives. In fact, Uncle Blessing would take me to Grandma's every other weekend with his daughter, my cousin, Tyona and we'd just hang out. We didn't even have to do anything but those were the best weekends I had ever had!

My dad has since wrought a deep resentment toward Unlce Blessing, Uncle Kalachi and Grandpa Henry for doing these things; it has gotten to a point that he talks behind my Uncle Blessings back to my step brother Jordan, I have deep resentment towards them both for that.

Oh man, there are just so many things I could go on about but I will leave with this...
I am not writing this in anger or in sorrow, but rather that the readers can look at themselves and their relationships they have with their parents. You are truly blessed to have your parents in your life. I too am blessed, when my mom was pregnant, her mom told her that she should get an abortion or give me up for adoption. But no, she was brave enough to let me live and she has supported me, WITHOUT ANY, of my dad's help since my birth.

Relax!

Hehe, sorry, my blogs have been pretty, well, singleminded (religous I mean). Don't Worry! I am still the same old Dylan! I've looked back on a couple of the "***Insights***" that I have written and have realized that they are pretty deep and occasionally grim. Sorry! I don't mean to scare you guys off! I'll try to tone it down a bit.

***Insight*** Endurance & Eternity


Time. It seems it is constantly slipping through our fingers. Forever an enemy, and yet, also a comfort in the right circumstances. As we get older, and even now I'm sure, our lives are ruled by clocks. We understand that our lives are limited and we live, usually, for the thrills and pack as much activity as we can handle int0 the smallest amount of time possible.

And when we waste time, we feel the consequences.

I think these factors limit our ablilty to fully comprehend the endless vastness that is eternity.

"...Endure to the end." Yes, you have heard it many times before. And upon trying to heed these words, as you most likely have, and fail, you must think to yourself "Man, I'm going to have to 'endure to the end' for the next 80 or so years?! I can't even make it through today!!" Yes, temporally speaking that is our conception of "forever." But, If we remember that there is indeed life after death we will realize that this time we have, here, is so insignificant it is nearly non-existant.

Think of it this way. Think of eternity as a "wheel" (please refer to my last "***Insight***" for the "Circle theory"). Now, if we tried cutting up the eternity-wheel into sections of 1000 years, we would spend an eternity trying to do so! Cutting it up into sections of 1,000,000 years or 1,000,000,000 years, OR more would also take an eternity as eternity has no end. So, with this in mind, try imagining how big a section our lives would be on the eternity-wheel. You couldn't see it. It exsists, yes, but it would be so tiny I'm sure we would call it "nonexistant."

So, It doesn't seem like Heavenly Father is asking to much of us, huh? Our lives would be instantaneous events on the eternity-wheel. "Endure to the end" should be cake then right?

Wrong, dead wrong. You know how hard this life can and will be for us. In fact, this "test" (as I will refer to it, see "***Insight***" Misdeeds, Life's Harshes lessons) is so hard that Heavenly Father says, "...If you heed my commandments and endure to the end, ye shall have eternal life". I repeat, so hard is this test that IF we make it out, and "ace"the test, we will become Gods. He knows this is the only way we can ascend and be with him.

"Welcome, my children, to the Godliness Test. I want to comend you on being so brave as to take it. You have had no time to study, and will only have anywhere from 0-107 years to complete it. However, if you listen to me and do what I say, then I will give you all the answers. THERE WILL BE NO RETAKES. You may begin."

***Insight*** So many questions...


Have you ever just started thinking about the world and asking questions? I'm sure the answer is "yes".

But today, roused by seminary mostly, I have just had a FLOOD of new questions and ideas.
This is what Brother John was talking about today:

We began talking about The Second Coming (which was fascinating in and of itself), but then we started talking about the lives of those who are to live in the Celestial Kingdom.

ETERNAL life ,wow, I'll come back to that subject later.

Anyways, he then said that as husband and wife, being Gods, (like Him) we will have children, as married couples often do. These children will be spirits, just as we once were. They too will want bodies. We will explain The Plan of Salvation to them. We will shape a planet of our very own. We will create our own "Adam and Eve". And, one by one, we will send our children through the veil, and they will begin their trials just as we are now doing. Some will obey and become exalted, some will err, some will never hear the plan and wander through life, some will choose to disobey or not believe, and, sadly some will fall...

However, those who become exalted will become Gods too. They too will have children and our "grandchildren" will want bodies. Thus a cyle is shall be created, thus my questions begin to surface!

Does this mean He, was once put on an earth for trials just like us?
Where does it all "begin"?
How did it all "begin"?
Was there even a "beginning" at all? Is this the nature of the "universe"?

*Or is he truly "Alpha and Omega" afterall he sent down his son to attone for not just our sins but for those of our spirit children and our childrens children. I mean, it would seem to me that a Savior would have been sent down a long time before He became God. This is the only answer to my questions that I think I have. *

Where does the science begin? Where does the religion begin? Where do they meet and overlap IF at all?

What will we do with our Eternal Life?

I have a theory...

I think that everything boils down to "circles"

"...And his course is one eternal round"


The universe is made up of countless galaxies, and, science says, that this all started from the "Big Bang" ( could the Big Bang not have been His doing?) This was created by an enormous amount of energy being pulled by gravity into a single point of exisitence which then exploded, realeasing all of the matter in the "universe" This matter spread out, condensed, and formed galaxies, stars, solar systems, and planets. Now, all this matter is still expanding BUT gravity is slowly pulling it back in. *When that happens the galaxies will move faster and faster until they transcend the speed of light, transforming into energy. The energy will then come to a single point, explode, and there shall be another "Big Bang". This is the first of many "cirlces" that I see in the world. *

Can't you see them aswell? The entire UNIVERSE is made up of "cirlces" or, I suppose you could say "cycles". Water cyclce, the cycle of stars, "cirlce of life" (animals eating each other then dying, decaying into elements which are then absorbed back into the world, ect.).

And YES, even His life is a "circle." Therefore, "circle" must be another word for "eternity". I am sure there are "circles" we have yet to come across.

We don't know what make up things such as quarks and leptons (these are the things that make up protons and such) they are infinitely small. And the "universe" is, supposedly, infinitely big.
*Who's to say that each "universe" (if there are indeed more than one as many believe) is contained within the confines of each of those subatomic particles who cannot be broken down farther. Is this universe within the confines of such a paticle? Part of another universes matter and that universe indeed being in its own particle? ANOTHER circle is now created.*

Radical, yes, fact, probably not. But I have come to one final conclusion...

All these questions just PROVE to me that there is a God out there. This, "place" is simply too perfect, too complicated and intricate, too ingenious to all be mere coincidence.
Our questions shall bring us closer to Him.