My Dad...

Heh, if I had written this a few weeks earlier I probably would have said somethings I would regret later; I decided to take some time off and get a level head before writing this.

Bottom line, my dad isn't in my life hardly ever. Period.

But about, ooh, I'd say... 2 weeks ago, he came back overseas from Germany (he's in the military and now has "a family of my own") and came to visit me for the first time in two years. Which is great, I think there was a period in my life where I hadn't seen him for 6 years.

Anyways, so he took me down to Las Vegas ( I absolutely HATE that place but almost all of my family from my dad's side lives down there), I down right refuse to elaborate the content of that trip but it was, in a word, "interesting." I awakened feelings for my dad that I had thought I left behind long ago, these including, resentment, dissapointment and shame.

Don't get me wrong, do I love my dad, yes, do I honor my dad, yes, but, I'll be honest...I'm kind of glad he's not in my life. I mean, I've done so well with just my mom and myself, what does he have to offer me? In the periods that my dad was not in my life, which would be around 80-90% at least, My Uncle Blessing, Grandma Cordelia, Grandpa Henry, Uncle Kalachi ( all of which are from his side of the family) have invited me into their lives. In fact, Uncle Blessing would take me to Grandma's every other weekend with his daughter, my cousin, Tyona and we'd just hang out. We didn't even have to do anything but those were the best weekends I had ever had!

My dad has since wrought a deep resentment toward Unlce Blessing, Uncle Kalachi and Grandpa Henry for doing these things; it has gotten to a point that he talks behind my Uncle Blessings back to my step brother Jordan, I have deep resentment towards them both for that.

Oh man, there are just so many things I could go on about but I will leave with this...
I am not writing this in anger or in sorrow, but rather that the readers can look at themselves and their relationships they have with their parents. You are truly blessed to have your parents in your life. I too am blessed, when my mom was pregnant, her mom told her that she should get an abortion or give me up for adoption. But no, she was brave enough to let me live and she has supported me, WITHOUT ANY, of my dad's help since my birth.